There have been so many times since April that I’ve wanted to come over here and post something, anything, but to be honest I’ve been too busy. Writing.
So back in March I did a thing. Actually, in January I did another thing. I turned 60, and everything just stopped. No trip to Cielo because…Covid. I miss my Dominican sisters, and they miss all of us. Thank goodness for technology. With a messaging app and a translate app, we can at least talk to each other. In March I knew I had to do something. The fibro was out of control, so my fibro guy set up me with the experts at the pain clinic. First available appointment: mid-April. At least it was on the calendar. But, there was something else.
Last May God brought me to the Steinway store over in the ‘boro on a Saturday morning, smack dab in the middle of Covid, and held my hand as I walked around the corner to face…my piano, the one I sold 31 years ago. I brought it home with me, and we’ve been slowly getting reacquainted. Way back in ’82 I was accepted to graduate school right after I completed my BA in music, but VT could only offer a small scholarship for one quarter with no guarantees, and I was kind of tired of school and wanted a taste of ‘real life’ so I turned the offer down. I’ve regretted that over the years, but hey…life happens whether you want it to or not. And whether you like it or not, it is a gift…life is a gift.
So in April, with nothing to lose, I applied to graduate school again. Transcripts were obtained, forms filled out…and just like that, I’m a grad student. At 60. Classes started May 17. Back to that pain clinic thing: I met with a world-renowned pain specialist and we had a long conversation. In the end, we decided to try a 3-week course of Ketamine infusion. The first week treatment was May 10.
I’m now finished with the Ketamine and I have to say…it definitely helps. I see my fibro guy next week for my 6-month check in, and I’m sure more conversations will be had. No biggie.
Back to school: I’m finishing week 5 of the first 8-week summer session. I’ve been reading, a lot, and writing, a lot. Pages and pages. At first I was terrified. What the heck is Turabian, and why do I care? School is VERY picky about Turabian, and I’m finally over the learning curve there. Besides the pile of books on my living room floor, I’ve also been reading other students’ writing and…wow. Some good wow, but mostly bad wow. I have always undersold myself, as a wife, a mother, a friend, a musician, in my tech career, everywhere really. So when I got my first real feedback on a 12 page, properly cited research paper on Psalms, including an analysis of a specific one (19, if anyone cares), I was floored. In a good way. Can’t tell from reading this, because it’s 5:12 AM, but evidently I can write. Who knew? Well, except for that Artist’s Way group way back, where I was working on recovering my musical self and I wrote a little something to introduce a song that I sang, acapella, to the group. The response was, you’re a writer. I knew I wasn’t a singer, so my widdle feewings weren’t hurt. The singing was more about being vulnerable anyway.
So, here I am, 60 years old, fully vaccinated, reading and writing constantly, working with the cable guys some, not hurting, and pretty darned happy about it. The last year, 2 years really, have been, well, difficult. I’m also playing the piano, playing keys at church (two entirely different things), and God is doing weird and wonderful things in my head and in my heart. Thoughts and ideas are coming at me so fast I can’t keep up. I prayed and asked God to slow down a bit, I’m not as young as I used to be….but I am as young as I’ll ever be again this side of eternity. I called a friend who’s been down this ‘going back to school with God’ road and she assures me that I’m not crazy because I’m waking up after having had a dream in which I knew, with absolutely certainty, that God was speaking to me. I’m listening to music again, all kinds. Making friends with new songs, meeting up with old songs I’ve ignored for a while. Feeling my brain wake up from a dead musical sleep as it listens and analyzes chord structures, whether I want it to or not.
I have 2 more small papers, 2 more discussion prompts, 2 more essays, and 1 major research paper to finish in the next 3 weeks. And my second 8 week session overlaps 2 weeks…that was a surprise. That second session, it’s a 650-level class on writing theses and dissertations.
Good times.
My Own Little Chair 