It’s Alecto’s fault, all of it.
The previous blog entry here talks about me falling off a horse, Inki. Right after that, I went on vacation and Inki got really sick and almost died. (She’s all better now.) After vacation, daughter and I go back to the barn and I’m stuck with Chick the ex-barrel-racing maniac horse. Two weeks ago today I fell off Chick. Actually Chick sort of tossed me, after he lost his mind, bunny hopped over 3 gymnastics, slammed on his brakes and yanked his head down to the ground. I’m pretty sure I sprained my back on that one.
So, Memorial Day I”m home still recovering from Chick and feeling just crappy, physically, mentally, emotionally, any other -ally you can think of. Found Alecto floating around on the web and told her something like “I hurt and I wanna run away from home.” One thing sort of lead to another and in the time it would take me to fall off another horse, we had located a Bikram studio here in my neck of the woods. I committed to going Tuesday morning at 9:30, with the promise that I would check in with Alecto afterward.
Now it’s Tuesday again, I’ve been back to bikram every day and have invested in another 3 weeks of unlimited visits. Every day I’ve simultaneously dreaded and anticipated going. It’s insane. Why would anyone in her right mind deliberately go into a 105 degree torture chamber, with mirrors even, and sweat, breathe and contort herself for 90 minutes?
And the answer is…..for me, anyway….
to take care of myself.
When I take care of myself, my body continues to hurt after I leave the studio, but my mind is clearer. I sleep better. I eat less, and what I do eat is better for me than what I’ve been eating. (I don’t even miss the Happy Meals!) I’m doing more and thinking less. I’m trying to undo 20 years of damage. I didn’t get this way overnight and I won’t get better overnight.
But when I take care of myself, I take a step in the direction of better.
So, it’s Tuesday again. I’ve been to bikram for 8 days straight. I can’t keep up with Alecto’s 30 in 30 because I’m taking Friday and Saturday and running away from home to go…home. I’m going to ride Inki this afternoon and not fall off. And I’m going to try and keep up with AlectoBloPoMo as much as possible.
What is this world coming to?