Mostly dreams, I think.
My mom had major back surgery last week, got to go home from the hospital on Christmas Day. It’s been a nightmare for her, one that we hope is almost over.
Seems I’m about two years behind her. She started having issues with sciatica about two years ago, issues I’m having now. Between the “normal” fibro and the addition of sciatica (and yes, CG, I’ve hula-ed, but it won’t go away!) I’ve been feeling pretty crappy. Had two injections in my back. Have some pain meds that I don’t take on a regular basis, but probably should.
And had some interesting dreams.
Mostly too complicated to try and write down, but I could talk through one of them w/ hubby enough to remember that I “floated” through the entire thing. Floated from one scene to another, thought I was watching a movie, actually. Floated into and out of and back into several different people in wildly different circumstances, floated through a yarn shop and had to touch all the yarns and feel the textures and admire the colors, then floated through a foam rubber ceiling and back into myself, woke up in sleep paralysis and waited for it to go away.
Now that I think about it, each of the people in that dream was me. There was a professional, a socialite, a young girl, and old woman, a spectator, a participant, a nurse, a patient….all me.
I think at one time or another I was each of those women during 2009. And will probably be each of them again in 2010. There were experiences during the last year that were lovely dreams, some of them so lovely that I will be surprised beyond belief to have them again, and it makes me sad to think that they were “once in a lifetime” things. But they probably were.
Then there are those things that I hope and pray were “once in a lifetime” things, because I don’t ever want to go through them again.
It’s the same for each one of us, every year. Dreams, and nightmares.
I’d like to think that 2010 will have more dreams and fewer nightmares. But dreams and nightmares are like mountains and valleys: it’s hard to appreciate the magic of the dreams until you’re in the nightmare, just as it’s hard to really appreciate the mountain until you’re in the valley.
Still and all, I’d prefer more dreams and fewer nightmares, more mountains and a fewer valleys.
So, in the words of Colonel Sherman T. Potter,
“Here’s to the New Year. May she be a damned sight better than the old one…”
and, for anyone who might be looking for it…
“…and may we all be home before she’s over.”