Obviously I haven’t been writing much lately. We lost Simba the big fat Kitty in November, and I kept putting off writing about that. Now I just don’t have the energy to do it. I miss my cat. I’ve had a fat, male orange tabby cat since 1986. First Chester, then Simba. And for a little while we had both of them. We still have an orange tabby, but she’s a she, and she has issues…definitely a different personality type from the boy orange kitties. I want another male orange tabby cat, please. I know it’s stupid. We already have two cats, two dogs and a horse, and I keep saying “no more animals”. But I miss him terribly and I want him back, or another one like him. At the very least, I wish I’d had the chance to say goodbye to him before he left.
Speaking of stupid things, I did one recently. Sent a friend request to someone on FB that I haven’t talked to in, oh, thirty-five years maybe? It wasn’t stupid because of the number of years that have passed since we communicated last; there are other people from that time in my life that I’ve reconnected with recently and it’s fun to catch up on how our lives turned out, finding out how we’ve changed, how we’ve remained the same, how much we still have in common, or not.
But this one was different. This person really mattered to me during a time in my life when the number of people I could count as true friends was extremely small, and I was in the process of moving away and losing those friends. At the time I thought I was losing them forever. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case with a couple of them (you know who you are.) The night before we moved there was an end-of-the-year party at school, and I spent that evening with him. So, sort of on a dare, I gathered up my courage, what little of it there was, wrote a nice little note, and hit the ‘send’ button.
And nothing happened.
“Is it too much to hope that somewhere inside she knows she matters?”
I guess it depends on who she matters to, doesn’t it?